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Bro code hookup your friends ex

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It's no secret that men and women find it challenging to navigate their relationships and understand what the other expects of them. What is the Bro Code, anyway? All guys are very careful not to let the Bro Code fall into female hands, but here is a sneak peak at 21 of the more mysterious rules that govern the intricate relationships between most guys and the confused women who accompany them.

Shhh, don't tell anyone you've seen this. If you were hoping they were arguing about you, they are not. This makes no sense, of course, because all girls are better than all sports teams.

However, guys need to get out their Bro code hookup your friends ex, a real guy doesn't get out his aggression on a girl! He gets it out on the field. And if he is not on the field, he'll just have to argue about what's on the field.

Sports makes the perfect argument because guys can get all worked up, full well knowing at the end of the day that it doesn't mean a thing. It was a great argument. The Bro Code does not exist; if any girl asks, they Bro code hookup your friends ex deny, deny, deny. Have you seen Men In Black? There are some things that ladies are not meant to see and are not meant to know about. That's why the Men In Black have a Neuralyzer.

They can deny the existence of aliens on Earth. We are still working on the Neuralyzer thingy. In the meantime, please stop reading. There are four things a guy must at all times respect about his bro — his house, his parents, his girlfriend and most important of all, his car.

You might wonder what things are off limits for mockery between guys. They don't mock each Bro code hookup your friends ex houses. That's like mocking them. After all, a man's home is his castle. They don't mock each other's parents. Bro code hookup your friends ex God help the fool who says that about a guy whose mother really does wear army boots.

No mocking a guy's girlfriend. And no mocking a guys car. Cars are not to be made fun of. Mocking a guy's car is worse than standing too close at the urinal details about this rule below. Bro code hookup your friends ex says guys can't master history? They know enough about history to stay away from it. History can get sticky and emotional, and guys know better than to get involved in all that stuff. They'll forever stay away from a friend's ex-wife or baby mama.

All guys are very careful...

And they'll only date a friend's ex-girlfriend if she makes the first move Bro code hookup your friends ex their bro says it's cool. This is a simple survival rule for mutual self-preservation. It allows guys to A drink as much as they want with impunity, and B keep drinking as Bro code hookup your friends ex as they want with impunity.

On the plus side, this ensures that your friend will make it home unscathed. Women share dessert all the time, so as to avoid the sweet taste landing on their waists.

Guys don't worry about that. A he-man will eat the whole dessert, then go out and pull a bus, lift some railway cars or undertake some other feat of calorie-burning grandeur.

Or he will just go for a jog if it's more convenient.

We don't send regular emails,...

It would be a gross violation of the Bro Code if he didn't. No girl is going to cheat on his bro. Some bros will give the girlfriend a chance to fess up herself but she will be warned that the truth is coming out either way.

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A bro never keeps a secret like this from his fellow bro. It would be a gross Bro code hookup your friends ex of the Bro Code if he did.

The only exception is if you are his sister. No bro gets to cheat on his sister. Or Bro code hookup your friends ex his mother, for that matter. As for cousins and aunts, they're on their own. All's fair in love and war, right? But every guy understands that if he invokes this rule, it will be both love and war. So if a guy tells you that your boyfriend is cheating on you, it means either you are his sister or he wants you for himself. When introducing a bro to a new girl, a guy will most Bro code hookup your friends ex enhance facts about his job.

Guys know that women will stretch the truth about many things, so they will stretch the truth about each other's jobs to make them seem more impressive to the new girl. Guys know that women are impressed by a guy's career path, so why not mention that his position as a data entry clerk puts him on the Bro code hookup your friends ex path Elvis Costello took to launch his career?

Most Bro code hookup your friends ex take a while to realize Bro code hookup your friends ex it is pointless to ask a guy's buddy to verify his story. But eventually they learn that if it happened, the answer is "Yes. This is just not Bro code hookup your friends ex guys do. It's not that guys are oblivious to fashion It's just that it is unmanly to not be oblivious to fashion.

And that includes haircuts. By the way, this might explain why men also fail to notice their girlfriend's or wife's haircuts, but that's another story for another several days. Even after rule 14 has been invoked guys don't aim for each other's junk. This is another rule of mutual self-preservation. No guy would be safe anywhere. And all the great fighting scenes in the Bro code hookup your friends ex would be reduced from five minutes to five seconds, which would make The Matrix very, very short.

Once again, we have a rule of mutual self-preservation. You should assume that whatever happened at that bachelor party, no animals were harmed, no villages were burned to the ground, the girl in the cake will survive, and your man won't reveal any of the details. Not even if bribed with carnal sweets. No way, just too many complications.

Thanks Betch

No guy wants to get in between a buddy and his sister. Unless she is smoking hot!

Never Hook Up with or...

Yes, Bro code hookup your friends ex rules can be broken. But a guy will never, ever hook up with his buddy's mom, even if she is smoking hot. Step sisters and step moms are OK. That's just how the rules are written. Perhaps this is another rule of mutual self-preservation, but Bro code hookup your friends ex understand that this is just what had to be done at the time.

Bro code hookup your friends ex of making each other feel ashamed, they will provide excuses, such a, "Oh, you were really drunk.

Unless it's with a friend's sister. This is a corollary to Rule 12, and might be why so many girls think Bro code hookup your friends ex know so little. It is important to know nothing, otherwise two guys' stories might conflict. And then they would both look silly. More importantly, someone might end up in the doghouse, and that is a dark and scary place.

When two guys' girlfriends are friends with each other, all sketchy stories are discussed amongst each other before reporting back to their respective girlfriends.

This is sort of obvious, and is a natural corollary to the majority of these rules. It is important for each guy to get his story straight, so that he can report what Bro code hookup your friends ex happened, rather than what he remembered happened.

No Bro code hookup your friends ex wants to tell his girlfriend the wrong truth. It is unmanly to pull one's fire hose out in the vicinity of another guy.

So men typically try to ensure there are at least two urinals between them. This is not always possible. In some cases, a friend takes the middle urinal in a row of five. So it is acceptable to take a urinal one away from the next guy. The only circumstances when a guy can take the next urinal are: Peeing in one's pants is very, very unmanly. If ever you thought guys can't handle complex Bro code hookup your friends ex, the "wingman" proves them wrong. The wingman's job is to accompany his friend in a bar or other social setting, so that the guy does not appear alone when on the prowl.

Women respond much better to a guy with a friend Bro code hookup your friends ex a guy all alone. The wingman has to be charming and witty, to help draw the female target that's you!

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Back to the bar? GIRLS SAY: “Absolutely not, unless the hookup was a one-time random thing and your friend is okay with it. An ex-boyfriend is totally off-limits. All guys are very careful not to let the Bro Code fall into female hands, And they 'll only date a friend's ex-girlfriend if she makes the first . But a guy will never, ever hook up with his buddy's mom, even if she is smoking hot..

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